TOM DICK AND HARRY

world's oldest party girl


when i was 6 we had a turtle called mercury after freddy not the planet and one morning i put him in my lunch box and took him to kindy and someone thre threw it in the swiiming pool which was partially frozen and it died. upon retrieval some cunt informed me freddy was a woman. i bought a 22 foot boat today. its original name was SKI which i assumed meant they used it to water ski. then i realised it is not possible to water ski attached to a fucking yacht and that SKI stands for 'SPENDING THE KIDS INHERITENCE'.

also when i was 9 tanya and i got on the train and asked people how to get to midland so we ciould each purcahse a rat. somehow we found farmer jacks. i called mine mario after super mario. i kept him in my room for 2 months unbeknownst to my parents and came home from school one day to find my mother in my room looking at my cat ingest mario.

i bought a fucking boat what am i thinking.